I thought my love life will be simple and smooth after HC. I thought I will never step into the forbidden territory anymore. I thought the next man in my life will love me for me and not looking for sexual favours. I thought...
Maybe I should never had started on the website match.com. Then I will never have to face disappointments and risk breaking my heart. I'm meeting the same kind of men again. Getting indecent proposals again and again. Tolerating them blowing hot and cold. I thought only women are complicated or maybe women complicate simple things. Contradicting myself in what I am doing and what I believe in. From the fateful day I met him, trouble has started to brew. I should not have gotten myself so attached to him. Should not have let myself lose and get into this mess only I am in.
I thought I will not like him. I thought he is not my type. But why is my heart swaying towards him. Why do my heart ache when he ignored me? Why do I cry at every sad songs I hear and think of him when I thought I am losing him forever. Why does it have to hurt? Why must he have a girlfriend? Why must I keep holding on? Why must I miss him? Why must I like him this much?
I am derailed.
